walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
