just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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