It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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