idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
