We got so high we made milksteak
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
