Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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