fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize