Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
