Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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