Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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