if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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