the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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