You're my little dorito
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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