He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
