he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
