there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize