he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
