one two three fourrrrnication!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
