I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
