did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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