we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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