I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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