yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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