Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize