Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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