I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
