Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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