come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
