I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
