We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he thought i was a dude.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
