i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
time to smoke my breakfast
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
