I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize