i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
