the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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