I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize