Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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