3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
