She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
