I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
