I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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