bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
