I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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