my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
