the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
