my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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