marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
