Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Who died my cat blue again?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
