Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
