Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
