This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
