She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
