all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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