I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
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