Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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