I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
