please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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