a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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