It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
