Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
