He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
