Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
