So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
