I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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