I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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