Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
This is the high leading the old right now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize