There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
