What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Everything about him screamed your future.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
