My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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