Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
