Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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