Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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