i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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